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cross_and_bow

When Juliet leaves the party, she goes to meet the new Jarvis.

She knocks, to be polite.

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From:

eversomuchfun

From:

cross_and_bow

Hugs.

From:

eversomuchfun

Hugs indeed.

"I am not sure that getting rid of it is possible," he says. "And I am relatedly not sure that trying to is wise."

From:

cross_and_bow

"...On a strict understanding of the word 'possible'," says Bella, "that is obviously false. You went without a soul and without the consequent self-loathing once."

Edited Date: 2013-05-08 07:10 pm (UTC)

From:

eversomuchfun

"Yes, and then I merged my better half back in on the condition that the result keep his soul. With some leeway for the fact that he is more or less exactly a past version of me, if I go back on that I have essentially killed him. It's not my first choice."

From:

cross_and_bow

"...There's that," acknowledges Bella. "Of course, your 'better half' also accepted the condition that the self-loathing was not supposed to be part of the package. If you keep that, then - pronouns are complicated, I trust you'll know what I mean - then he's essentially - emotionally crippled you in a way that was not part of the deal."

From:

eversomuchfun

"To the part of me that does the self-loathing, that seems perfectly reasonable."

From:

cross_and_bow

Bella presses her face into his shoulder and sighs.

From:

eversomuchfun

"And it's not as though your average Sherlock is unable to function this way."

From:

cross_and_bow

"Yeah, but functioning isn't a very ambitious standard."

From:

eversomuchfun

"We accomplish ambitious things."

From:

cross_and_bow

"That's not the same thing as personally thriving," she says. She reaches for his hand and squeezes it.

From:

eversomuchfun

"We personally - continue," he says. "We exist. We have pleasant moments, just not as many of them as we otherwise might."

From:

cross_and_bow

"That's sad, though," Bella murmurs. "If there was a way to half-break a Bell in such a way that she could still accomplish things and would just spend her inner life feeling like you do would you want me to do it?"

From:

eversomuchfun

"What in any earthly variety of fuck could possibly possess me to want such a thing?"

From:

cross_and_bow

"Maybe if I'd made an ill-informed promise," suggests Bella, but it's clear that she did not expect an affirmative answer to her question.

From:

eversomuchfun

"It isn't really the same."

From:

cross_and_bow

"Why not?"

From:

eversomuchfun

"Because your entire cognition is not structured around misery," he suggests.

From:

cross_and_bow

"Yours wasn't. For a while. Or was it always and I'm just woefully imperceptive?"

From:

eversomuchfun

"The misery when I had no soul was the lack of Tony and Jarvis," he says. "And then I found you, and you were delightful, and I managed to dig up a Jarvis, and he also helped, and of course he came with a Tony, and then - well."

Edited Date: 2013-05-08 09:55 pm (UTC)

From:

cross_and_bow

"...So you haven't actually tried having no self-loathing and all your people alive and no recent catastrophe at the same time and you're not sure how it'd work?"

From:

eversomuchfun

"Yes. I was on my way to managing it. I might still be, if I had not latched onto the soul. But now that it's here I find I am irrationally attached to it."